From hot combs to relaxers, my natural hair has been through a lot. I’m sharing my natural hair story, the challenges I’ve faced, and the lessons I’ve learned.
Elementary & middle school years
Through elementary (and early middle) school I wore beads, barrettes, and ball hair ties in my hair. And I honestly hated it. I couldn’t understand why I still had to wear “little girl” hairstyles and accessories, while my friends flaunted straight hair. I dreaded sitting still on the floor, while my mom detangled and styled my natural hair every Sunday.
But on special occasions, my mom straightened my hair with the infamous hot comb. Anyone who’s experienced the hot comb will probably tell you grease and scalp burn are part of this process. But in the end, your hair is straight. I had a love/hate relationship with the hot comb process. Hated the burn, but loved the result. Also, hated that I couldn’t be active with my straight hair, but loved being able to swing my hair.
Teenage years
(THE “CREAMY CRACK” PERIOD)
In 8th grade, I begged my mom to relax my hair. After a few months, she caved and bought one of those kid perm box kits. The scalp burn from the relaxer was far worse than the burns I endured from the hot comb. But afterward, my hair was pin-straight. And while I was happy, my hair was not. My hair felt dry and lifeless, but I really thought I was the s***. After a few months of getting touch-ups, I decided to stop getting relaxers in my hair for good. Or, so I thought…
In high school, I was basically being on and off of relaxers. This was mainly because I didn’t understand how to take care of my hair. I was used to my mom always doing my hair. And while my mom did her best to manage my thick and curly/coily hair — her texture was different from mine. Her hair is low-density and has more of a wavy/curly texture. So having to learn how to manage my hair was an intimidating, and complicated, process. I’d straighten my hair once, or twice, a week to avoid dealing with it. But also because I thought straight hair was prettier. My hair suffered from the relaxer and constant heat I put it through. Not to mention, I began experimenting with clip-in extensions, which only made my hair worse.
Young adult years
Entering college, I decided to make some changes to my lifestyle. I’d no longer waste my money on touch-ups, or my time sitting under the dryer. Only to end up with a headache. As a college student, I didn’t have the bandwidth to get those 3-month touch-ups. From joining an organization on-campus, classes, and enjoying my college experience. It just wasn’t feasible to keep my relaxer. I also didn’t have the income to keep paying for touch-ups. With books, supplies, bills — and alcohol costs #priorities 🤷🏾.
I spent months watching natural hair gurus on YouTube. I learned how to manage my hair. When I first started my journey, I was transitioning. To avoid the big chop and retain length, I made sure to properly, and delicately, manage my transitioning hair.
I ended up buying the most expensive products when I first started out. I thought, “The more expensive the product, the more beneficial it’d be.” Or, I’d use products that YouTube gurus suggested, even though their hair texture wasn’t the same as mine. I struggled for months going from product to product trying to find the ones that my hair responded positively to.
TRANSITIONING TO NATURAL HAIR
Eventually, I figured out what products worked well for my hair. I began deep conditioning every Friday when I didn’t have classes. Went to the salon for trims every 6-8 weeks. I also started doing low-manipulation protective styles. In turn, my natural hair started to grow!
The next setback came when I studied abroad. I had no idea how to manage my transitioning hair in another country. I went back to researching and watching videos to see how I could manage my transitioning hair while abroad. But to little (or no) avail. I decided to get senegalese twists in hopes that would protect my hair from breakage at the demarcation line. The line of demarcation is the part of the hair where the transition is occurring. Little did I know, when returning from studying abroad, my transitioning ends would break off. This was due to a lack of care when taking down the twists. This was a big disappointment, but I didn’t let that stop me from continuing on my journey. If anything, I was able to finally shed the rest of the relaxed hair!
READ MY POST ON WHAT I LEARNED TRAVELING WITH TRANSITIONING HAIR.
Officially a naturalista!
While I’m still going through trials and errors, I’m making great progress and feel very confident as a naturalista. One of the biggest things I’ve learned throughout this journey is to have patience.
Had I learned the importance of patience early on, I would’ve successfully taken out the senegalese twists. Clearly I’m still a bit bitter about this, but, you live and you learn! Anyone who knows me knows I have ZERO patience. However, this process has made me realize that being patient has its rewards. My hair is now approaching bra strap length! And even though my hair gets tangled easily and is thick – I’ve learned to appreciate my hair. Not many women can rock curly hair one week, and straight hair the next. Curly hair is just beautifully complex.
